Reflections

 

We say we value something when it is missing from our lives. How true it is. 

I had taken the annual vacation to India granted and in fact may be I became a little arrogant of the fact that I could travel every year to visit my parents. I remember I used to get irritated if I had to go for the obligatory visits to different places. I never thought that I would be living a life of an exile so soon.

2015 July was the last time I left for the vacation in India. The last time I spent time with my parents in the tranquil Sreekrishnapuram. When I left for the airport to go back to Dubai, I never realised I will not be able to visit my motherland for a long time. 

Lord Ram had been exiled to the forest for 14 years . I am exiled to the deserts. I don't know how long this exile will last. 

How much I miss the rains, the visit to the temples and the chats with my parents. I am probably paying the price of taking things for granted and not being thankful for these luxuries.

I am missing each and every occasion where we used to get together. 

Will I ever be able to visit my motherland in near future ??  Am I such a sinner that I have been denied the right to visit my parents and my motherland? And in the process my daughter is denied the right to enjoy vacations like her friends. 

There are many thousands like me in the Gulf who have not seen  the motherland for years and even died here. Will I be one of them ? I really don't know.

Lost and desperate that is what I am now.

Life looks really bleak and uncertain. To quote the lyrics from one of my favourite songs 

"Badi sooni sooni hai Zingagi yeh Zindagi

Zindagi I don't really love you anymore.